O, Lord,
Thou knowest my great unfitness for service, my present deadness, my inability to do anything for they glory, my distressing coldness of heart.
I am weak, ignorant, and unprofitable, and I loathe and abhor myself.
I am at a loss to know what thou wouldst have me do, for I feel amazingly deserted by thee, and sense they presence so little;
Thou makest me possess the sins of my youth, and the dreadful sin of my nature, so that I feel all sin, I cannot think or act but every motion is sin.
Return again with showers of covering grace to a poor gospel-abusing sinner.
Help my soul to breathe after holiness, after a constant devotedness to thee after growth in grace more abundantly every day.
O Lord, I am lost in the pursuit of this blessedness,
And am ready to sink because I fall short of my desire;
Help me to hold out a little longer, until the happy hour of deliverance comes, for I cannot lift my soul to thee if thou of thy goodness being me not nigh.
Help me to be diffident, watchful, tender, lest I offend my blessed friend in thought and behaviour;
I confide in thee and lean upon thee, and need thee at all times to assist and lead me.
O that all my distresses and apprehensions might prove but Christ's school to make me fit for service by teaching me the great lesson of humility.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
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